My short attempt at comedy

[zenified.livejournal.com]

Well, I wrote this quite fast during 'The Apprentice'. I should have been working on something else, but since I am the queen of procrastination I decided to live up to my title.

Anyhoo...

Title: Busted!
Pairing: Stephen/Jon
Rated: R


"Ouch!” Jon bit back a nasty curse when his hip hit the desk. “Where’s the fucking light?”

Fumbling in the dark, he reached for the missing lamp.

“The lamp fell earlier, while we… uh… where are you?” Colbert asked trying to follow the ruffling sounds from the corner of the small room. “Say something, I can’t see you.”

“I’m right here, next to you.” Jon’s voice sounder closer when his head turned towards the couch.

“Oh, ok” Stephen’s hand reached out and found a good grip. “Wow, Jon. Again?”

“What?” Jon’s voice sounded confused. “Er… That’s not me. That’s the broken piece of the ‘This Week in God’ pole that I told you not to lean against, but no, you had to try something new…” Annoyed now, “where the fuck is the light switch?”

“Why are you in such a hurry?” Stephen purred sensually when he found Jon’s thigh. “Night’s young” he whispered leaning towards him and moving his hand higher up.

“Jesus Colbert! The energizer bunny has nothing on you” Jon smiled, allowing the skillful hand to inch all the way to his open fly. Gasping, he covered Stephen’s hand with his own, setting a languid pace.

A hard and unexpected knock on the door cut the fun short, making them both bolt up right in a nanosecond.

“Who is it?” Jon’s voice cracked as he clumsily zipped up his fly, avoiding what would have been quite a painful experience by a hairline.

“Cleanin’ service!” a female voice replied from the other side of the door with a heavy accent.

Before either of them could react, the lights came on to reveal an office that made the aftermath of the Florida hurricanes look like a summer breeze. Both Jon and Stephen squinted at the sudden brightness, wincing with discomfort.

A burly Hispanic woman in her fifties stood in the doorway, horror stricken by the sight in front of her.

“Hola, Remedios” Stephen stammered trying his best to pronounce her name correctly. “Eh… Estamos… trabajo. Un… un ‘skit’ para el programo de manyana…”

“Si!” Jon agreed, smiling sheepishly and nodding vigorously.

“I must clean now” Remedios insisted. “T’is is the last office for tonight.”

Her eyes darted suspiciously from one man to the other, who were both looking at her with silly grins on their faces and their hands stuck in their pockets. After what seemed like an eternal stare-down, she stepped around the fallen lamp on the floor, pulling the cleaning cart behind her and holding the door open with it.

“We… we really don’t need the office cleaned tonight, Remedios. Just.. uh, just maybe some extra towels for the bathroom” Jon licked his lips uncomfortably.

Remedios nodded wide-eyed at his request and grabbed some paper rolls from the cart. When she disappeared into the small bathroom, Jon turned to Stephen with a smirk and a shrug, making the other man burst into an uncontrollable fit of the giggles immediately. Easily succumbing to Stephen’s contagious laughter, Jon placed a hand on his face shaking with every chuckle.

“You need anything else?” Remedios asked walking out of the bathroom and climbing over a fallen chair.

“Nope!” they both chimed in unison, trying to look as nonchalant as possible.

“Ok, then…” pushing the cart out of the way, Remedios turned around adding, “the parking lot is really dark at t’is time of the night, good t’ing the cars have headlights.”

Jon frowned and Stephen cocked his head questioningly, raising his eyebrow.

A wicked smile crept up the cleaning lady’s lips as she whispered, “you really should close the blinds."