thedailyshow_rps | "When the World Ends" (Pt.2)

Hello people!

Title: When the World Ends, Pt.2
Series: TDS/TCR
Pairing: Jon/Stephen
Rating: PG-13
Warning: Promotion of the gay agenda, swearing, Viacom bashing (is that a bad thing...?)
Summary: Jon is having some troubles at home and Stephen joins him to listen to Jon's latest musical obsession: Dave Matthews Band. They both fall in love with DMB and enjoy the music together, as well as each other's company (um, yeah, I suck at writing summaries).
Disclaimer: The only thing I own is the computer I type on and the ideas in my head.
Author's Notes: I have been working on this for, actually, a freakishly long time. Since last year, actually, and it's not very long, but I'm proud of it. I think it came out pretty well. I was obsessed with Dave Matthews at the time, too, hence the inclusion of it (and teh title, lol). If you haven't heard When The World Ends, look it up on YouTube, it's great.

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“So, we were thinking of calling the segment Donkey Punch.”

“Oh, my God. I would’ve been amazed if you got away with that.”

“I’m about 90% sure I could’ve used it…I think Allison could’ve cleared it just fine.”

“That’s an amazing producer you’ve got there. Pretty soon Comedy Central will let you get away with anything…if they don’t already.”

Stephen chuckled into his cup of coffee, hot wisps of steam tickling at his nose. The crust of the toast that came with his order of eggs and sausage was sitting on his plate, lonely and cold.

Jon swallowed down some of his own coffee, relishing in the mind-numbingly delicious taste. It was amazing how good coffee tasted sometimes.

“We should push their limits. They’re not gonna fire us - at least not on the spot.”

“The thing about being friends with you, Stephen, is that I begin to think that most of the time, you’re absolutely serious when you say ridiculous things like that.”

That evil smirk of his crossed Stephen’s face as he settled into his signature eyebrow glare. His glasses climbed a little on the bridge of his nose when he made that face, making him look rather studious.

“Let’s do it. Come on, let’s plan something together. It’ll be hilarious!” he said.

Jon stared at him for a moment, swishing the luke-warm coffee in his mug around in a whirlpool of bitter sweetness as he contemplated his friend’s suggestion.

“You’re a crazy bastard, Stephen.” he said, smirking. Stephen’s expression just got more mischievous-looking. “So…what did you have in mind?”

Stephen became very excited, like a little boy at Christmas who just got the present he’d been asking for all year. They remained there for a few more hours, offering suggestions of things they probably shouldn’t do on their shows, but were going to do anyway.

====

By Monday, the pair had been listening to Dave Matthews Band every night for hours on end. They memorized lyrics, sang together, even danced around once or twice (when they’d gotten a little visit from the Alcohol Fairy).

They’d also come up with something they were sure would get them in trouble. They decided it would take place during Stephen’s show, because quite frankly, his audience tended to be better.

Finally, seven-thirty arrived, and Jon taped his show while Stephen waited patiently for him to finish. After half an hour, Jon made it over to Stephen’s set.

“Welcome to the Report. Nation. I am angry. And more so than usual. I found out this weekend that Viacom is planning on suing YouTube viewers for watching copyrighted videos that were illegally posted on the site. And, Viacom is insisting that Google supply all identities of its videos’ viewers.

Now, I would never say anything bad about Viacom. So, I’m not going to say that they’re trying to deprive the Nation of videos that are hardly accessible through any other site.”

Laughter.

“And I’m not going to say that you should upload as many copyrighted videos of this show and The Daily Show as possible.”

More laughter.

“And I’m definitely not saying that you should write to Sumner Redstone, owner of Viacom, and complain about this huge invasion of privacy.”

Whoops and laughter this time.

“And, of course, Jon Stewart would never say this either - the pussy - so I had to not say it for him. He didn’t say to do any of the above either.”

“Stephen!”

The audience gasped, whooped, applauded, and made other various noises when they spotted Jon Stewart strolling up to Stephen’s desk from backstage.

“Stephen, I just got a call from Mr. Redstone.” Jon stated, leaning against Stephen’s desk nonchalantly and casually crossing his arms.

“W-what?” Stephen asked, his face plummeting into a worried expression.

“He’s got a bone to pick with you.” Jon leaned closer to Stephen, their faces about a foot apart. Stephen looked close to tears.

“Um…uh…what did you tell him?” He was a good actor; his voice quivered as he spoke.

“That you were busy…and that he was a douche-bag for trying to sue YouTubers.”

All sorts of sounds followed the utterance of that sentence, and Stephen leapt from his seat, pulling Jon into a hug over his desk.

“So?” Jon said, pulling back from the hug.

“What?” Stephen replied, raising an eyebrow.

“This is where you say, ‘You’re not a pussy, Jon.’”

“You’re not a pussy, Jon.” Stephen smirked. He wasn’t even paying attention to the audience anymore. He touched his lips to Jon, felt Jon push into the kiss.

There was more noise behind them; applause, whooping, uneasy laughter, but they didn’t hear any of it. Jon’s eyes fluttered open and noticed that Stephen seemed to be…well, it didn’t seem like a joke anymore.

It seemed like a real kiss, now.

At that second, Jon pulled away and Stephen gasped in surprise, but quickly recovered.

“JON STEWART, EVERYONE!” Stephen gestured to his friend as Jon bowed dramatically and scurried off the set to hide backstage.

Ten minutes later, and Jon was outside the building, sitting in his car. Another twenty minutes, and Stephen would be done with his show.

Jon laid on his side, curled up and clutched his knees tight, thinking.

That was not an acting kiss. That was a real fucking kiss.

Jon loved Stephen. Loved him more than anyone. Maybe even a little more than his wife. But this? This felt like too much. An emotional overload.

Jon had never been good with this kind of thing. It took him forever to propose to his wife. He had considered a relationship with Stephen before. What it would be like.

How wonderful it would be to kiss those lips every day. How amazing it would be to wake up next to that warm smile every morning. What it would feel like to…have sex…with Stephen.

Sleep came quickly and chased all thoughts from Jon’s mind.

====

Stephen listened to the cheering of fangirls as he speed-walked to the street in front of his building. He spotted Jon’s car, sitting in the parking lot across the street.

Fixing his tie and adjusting his jacket, he strolled to the passenger side door and peered through the window. Jon was sleeping on the back seat, curled up in a ball.

Stephen tried the handle; it was unlocked. He clambered into the driver’s seat and turned around to look at his somewhat peaceful friend. Stephen reached a hand out, carefully touched Jon’s face, fingertips barely grazing warm skin.

He sighed and withdrew his hand, burying his face in his palms.

What the fuck did I do? Is he gonna hate me now? he thought. He shook his head. He couldn’t think about that now, it was getting late and Jon needed to be home.

Stephen knew he had to get Jon’s keys, but they were probably in his pants pocket. Quite the conundrum. He felt his cheeks flush a light pink as he reached into Jon’s pocket and dug around for the car keys.

“Molesting me in my sleep, Stephen?”

Apparently, Jon was a bit of a light sleeper. Stephen jumped and yanked his hand back, feeling utterly embarrassed.

“I-I’m sorry, Jon, I wasn’t -”

“Stephen, I was kidding, lighten up.” Jon muttered, sitting up and straightening out his suit. Stephen smiled wearily at his friend before realizing he hadn’t gotten the keys.

“Um…I was gonna drive you home…”

“Oh, thanks. Um…here.” Jon dug the keys out of his pocket and gave them to Stephen, who started the car rather quickly. Jon climbed into the passenger seat (with difficulty).

“So…uh…how’d you sleep?” It was a lame thing to ask, but Stephen didn’t really know how to address the whole ‘kiss’ thing. He focused his eyes on the road, not looking at Jon to see his reaction to the stupid question he’d just been asked.

“Stephen.” Jon said simply. It was sweet, but Stephen knew Jon expected…an explanation? Something.

“Jon. I don’t know what came over me, I’m sorry.” he replied, gripping the steering wheel tight. A few strands of hair fell down to tickle his forehead, but he dare not move his hands, fearing that any sudden movement would cause him to lose control of everything.

“Stephen.” Jon started, putting a hand on Stephen’s leg. Stephen jumped slightly at Jon’s touch, then tensed and gripped the wheel tighter. “It’s okay.”

That was not what he’d expected.

“I…it wasn’t bad, Stephen…I liked it…” Jon said, trying his best to keep his voice from shaking. He squeezed Stephen’s thigh and smirked as Stephen seemed to relax the teeniest bit.

“…really? You…you’re serious?” Stephen almost whispered. He stared ahead at the road, but he definitely wasn’t as tense as he’d been a few minutes earlier.

“Yeah. To be honest, Stephen, I’ve always found you attractive…you’re an amazing man and my best friend and…” Jon trailed off and Stephen glanced at him for a second, noticing the slightly dreamy look on Jon’s face.

Stephen pulled the car over into an alleyway and parked it. He stared at Jon as Jon took his hand away from Stephen’s leg and stared back. Stephen reached out hesitantly, touching the side of Jon’s face.

“I…Jon, I’m pretty sure I love you.” he said.

“Wow, pretty sure? I’m, like, so honored.” Jon mocked, smiling. Stephen chuckled.

“Shut up. I love you.” he said firmly. Jon tilted his head. His face seemed to illuminate.

“I love you, too, Stephen.” he replied. Stephen leaned forward and touched his lips lightly to Jon’s, caressing his face. They were gentle at first, but quickly picked up speed and aggression, getting more passionate with their kisses.

Stephen pulled away and climbed into the backseat, patting the spot next to him and making his best come hither look. Jon giggled and joined Stephen, who immediately attacked Jon’s neck with hot, sensual kisses.

When Jon climbed into the backseat, his leg brushed against the volume dial, turning up the CD he’d been playing when he drove to the office. Dave Matthews began to sing.

“When the world ends…collect your things, you’re comin with me…when the world ends…you, tuckle up yourself with me…”

Stephen stopped lapping at Jon’s now bare chest to look at Jon.

“Why, Jonathan, it’s our song.” he said, winking. Jon giggled girlishly before laying his head back as Stephen went back to removing Jon’s clothes ever-so-slowly and kissing what he found beneath them.

“Watch it as the stars disappear to nothing, the day the world is over, we’ll be lyin’ in bed…" Dave Matthews continued to sing.

Jon and Stephen made love for the first time that night. Before drifting off to sleep in each other’s arms, they heard the sweet, soothing voice of Dave Matthews, lulling them into a comfortable unconsciousness together.

====

THE END